Well here it goes I have had top pluck up courage to write this .

I have been following the forum for a bit & I have to say a big thank you to Debbie who after reading her advice to another member about telling her husband encouraged me to do the same.

I am only telling my story in-case there are any others out there who were in my situation. I have carried this now for 2 years & it has at times been unbearable.

 

I am ashamed as unlike others knew exactly where all my debt has come from unfortunately. It all started a long time ago when I started trading the stock market. Obviously firstly I started small but got bigger as time went on and had my first real shock whilst trading oil. Wham a huge loss I could not sleep for the feeling of sheer sickness but of course my trusty old credit cards were there to plunge some more money into my trading account so I could wait for the trade to come back to me. Of course they never do. This went on until I had to take a 2^nd mortgage out. But it did not quite cover all my losses so I carried on just to try to re-coup a few grand. That was January 2007 a year later & I have debts again on credit cards of 100K and loans of approx 40K.

 

I am so racked with guilt it is making me ill! My hubby has been supportive but that almost makes the guilt worse. The kids all just adults are appalled at what I have done but to them it is only money after all they say, they do not really understand the seriousness of it. Thank God. They still say what the heck we still love you even if we do think you have gone mad. My hubby is still in disbelief & shock!

 

I would like to say I feel relief at stopping trading which I did late December but I dare not feel relief as I do not yet feel that my guilt should be so easily relieved. I can honestly say I am not addicted as I dropped it like a hot brick & not thought about it since. I would never gamble on a poker site or any other kind of internet site. That is where trading is different as it becomes your job therefore you do not really class it as a form of gambling but it is.  I was not addicted but obsessed with trying to make up my losses and pay my creditors. I never thought it would come to this

 

As most of us debtors we are usually quite smart people who have done something stupid. I have always run my own businesses successfully then trading came along I really wish I had never started. I do not think it was the thrill as much as the enjoyment of the knowledge of all the analysis that I enjoyed.

 

The one thing that annoys me is that although I am 100% accountable for what I have done I wish the credit cards companies had flagged me as a potential risk instead they just kept increasing my limits. They could see where all the money was going into a spread-betting company every day/week sometimes thousands at a time. Also the spread-betting companies should also flag risky customers like I was. But of course that is where they all make their money from. I can only see debts like mine growing as people use there credit cards more for online gambling. All it would have taken would have been a phone call from the credit cards & banks to have stopped me as I was just waiting to get caught really.

 

Well I have taken the first step & contacted Melanie’s office & spoke to Tina who has truly been great. I felt like a child who has just been taken by the hand to help & lead me forward. Tina has really perked me up & I feel so much better for speaking to her.

 

 

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